Sessions 15-16: Delayed arrival for appointment after a cancellation / reschedule of session 15 triggered thoughts around the anxieties and apprehensions related to Terminations. Just as Initiating Relations aren’t easy; Terminating Relations involve discomfort, disturbance and turmoil. The quality of the Relations determine the Processes between two Minds; type of attachment and purpose of attachment bonds influence the Contents shared by two Minds.
Both the Therapist and Patient were mindful of the impending termination which can seem like a dissolution of a puposeful relationship. Before or alongside, what plays out between the Duo (Interpersonal dynamics), there are contents that each one processes within (Intrapersonal dynamics) them too. Poor equations can make the Terminations messy.
During the past few weeks, patient reported having a steady social life and feeling safe in social interactions. She was dating a person she referred as ‘Nice person‘. Her work perfomance was ‘productive‘ with a sense of integration with a new project and new team. Hoarding tendencies had receded effortlessly. Psychiatric medicines decreased from three different pills to one antidepressant pill as maintanence dose. She spoke about her mother in an understanding tone,”I know she had her vulnerabilities as a wife and could not stand up for me against her husband. Or may be she did, but not as I expected or wished her to.!” Therapist queried,” what has changed within your feelings ?” Patient stated, “I think I can forgive her now.” Therapist maintained a pause by Silence, then asked,”Any thoughts on your Father ?” Patient mused and responded,” He must have known better as a Civil Attorney. He must have been aware of his relationship conflicts. He must have not abused alcohol as his medicine. And he surely must have known what he did to his six year old daughter. He must have regretted instead of being in Denial….But I think I can move past him now.”
Our last Session, was on time, with comfortable silences, thoughts about futures. She had planned on taking up some new hobbies. She enquired about the Therapists future curiously. Therapist acknowledged her progressive and Independent thoughts and initiative on charting her future trajectory of Life.
Towards the end, Patient asked the Therapist, “Do you see my transformation as your Success?” Therapist exclaimed correctively,” Our Success, you mean!”. The Duo smiled.
Patient then stated, “I wish I had met you when I was 22 or 23 years.” Therapist wondered,” Why do you say this?” Patient mentioned in a relaxed tone. “That i when I got married. It was difficult for me to be intimate with a man; my suicidal attempts began and intensified with many hospitalizations in that period. The marriage did not last but it broke my hopes and confidence on myself and society. Since then, i have seen the best and most expensive Therapists in the city. We could afford it due to family standing…I wish if I had seen you then, I could have healed earlier and had a better life in last 40 years.”
Therapist queried,” How was the experince with me different?” Unhesitatingly patient commented, “I sensed you are Compassionate, Intuitive at times, especially when i was struggling to find my real thoughts or find words to explain my thoughts and feelings. Whatever I expressed or held back, it Mattered to you.!”…..And When I was dismissive about the potential of Therapy, I saw your Belief that I could Heal.“
The Therapist beamed in adulation and remarked,” I am glad Life feels and means Relevant to you again. Worth having some New Shots in Life and Toast.!
